Vodka From The Magazine 

It was the second night of getting drunk with the three murders in a hostel in Moldova. There was a new addition to our bizarre gang; a man from Siberia who like the murders spoke Russian and had very little English.

He was about six foot, wore army trousers and a green top. He has long hair tied up into a long sleek ponytail and was very muscular. He had a garter with four knives on it all of different sizes, he took them out one by one to show me and Alona what they were like. He beamed with pride as he twiddled the knives in his hands. We were politely observing the knives and looking at them with interest. 

The five of us had drunk all that we had in the kitchen, mainly homemade vodka and the men were all talking and saying  ‘Magazine’ which is Russian for the shop (one of the few words we know in Russian). 

After a few minutes they pointed at me and said ‘Magazine.’ 

I went and put my shoes on and got a reusable bag. As I opened the front door the Siberian man stood up 

‘Me man, I protect you women’

I was slightly taken aback by this bizarre comment but wasn’t going to fight with a man from Siberia who had knives on his legs so I just accepted it.

We set off along the dark and winding street, there were no street lights or functioning pavements. The pavements we knew from exploring during the day looked like Thor had taken his hammer and hit the pavements with all his might. It wasn’t the easiest of things to navigate as being slightly drunk and trying to walk along a pitch black obstacle course of a street. Halfway to the underpass I tripped and the man had grabbed my arm saving me from crashing to the ground.

‘Me man, I protect women’

Is what he kept saying every few minutes. The idea of being somewhere that was lightly foreboding at night seemed a little less scary when I was with a man who I knew would protect me, god forbid.

We made it to the underpass which was as dark as night and again from the day we knew the state it was in, the stairs barely existed. It looked like the keys of a piano if it had been dropped out a twenty story window.

We made it down the steps with me in front and him very close to me, I guess in case I fell. We were at the entrance of the underpass and he tugged my shoulder. I looked at him and he put his hand out for me to stop. As we stood facing each other a thought I hadn’t had till now popped into my mind. What was I doing?

I tried not to look scared the only thing I could think of was Alona saying;

‘Moldova is huge on the black market for organs’

He went to speak. 

‘Me man’

Silence

‘Me man, me protect’

Life suddenly went into slow motion and it was as though I could hear every second tick on a clock. As the man in slow motion pulled something out from the back of his jeans. I could see something silver in his hand. He kept pulling and I kept watching.

As time suddenly came back into real time to my horror he had pulled out a knife and not a small knife like the ones on his leg but a big thick sharp knife. 

‘Me man, me protect’

He then gently smiled at me and started walking. We went into the underpass walking side by side in the pitch black with him wielding the knife between us. It was about a five minute walk and all I could hear was the wheezing of a knife very close to my shoulder, so close I could feel the air move my wispy hair that had escaped my hair bobble as he twisted it around in his hand.

We made it into the shop no one batted an eyelid at me and the man with the giant knife. I sort of looked at people but they just scoffed at me and then spoke in Russian with the Siberian man and they were laughing. 

We left the shop and made it back to the hostel. Outside Alona sat with the murders and now a band of gypsys who were offering her cigarettes discussing their time in jail, she looked up at me and then at the man with the knife.

‘Can’t wait to hear about that,’ she laughed

I laughed too. I laughed for relief, for stupidity, for everything. 

We all drank well into the early hours of the morning and the next day when we awoke like disheveled spoons and I vowed to always buy enough vodka at the start of the night.